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They may use a fictional name, or falsely take on the identities of real, trusted people such as military personnel, aid workers or professionals working abroad. Dating and romance scammers will express strong emotions for you in a relatively short period of time, and will suggest you move the relationship away from the website to a more private channel, such as phone, email or instant messaging. They often claim to be from Australia or another western country, but travelling or working overseas. They may take months to build what may feel like the romance of a lifetime and may even pretend to book flights to visit you, but never actually come. They may also ask you to send pictures or videos of yourself, possibly of an intimate nature. Often the scammer will pretend to need the money for some sort of personal emergency. For example, they may claim to have a severely ill family member who requires immediate medical attention such as an expensive operation, or they may claim financial hardship due to an unfortunate run of bad luck such as a failed business or mugging in the street. The scammer may also claim they want to travel to visit you, but cannot afford it unless you are able to lend them money to cover flights or other travel expenses. Sometimes the scammer will send you valuable items such as laptop computers and mobile phones, and ask you to resend them somewhere.

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Hi Cara, I was thinking about this thread today and wanted to add a few more things I learned on the dating sites: Many people sign up for say a 3-month trial, but once the site has your credit card number, they will continue to charge it until you jump through all their hoops in order to get it stopped. With Mingle, you had to go into your account and manually toggle it to “Unsubscribe” when your time was about to end. Many people didn’t know this and would continue to be charged long after they had ever intended.

I don’t know how it is now but I’ve heard that some sites don’t even allow you to set these parameters yourself anymore–you have to call and try to talk to their customer service operators, who will of course make every excuse there to keep your account open and paying. Over the years I’ve come to see it as more of just an avenue to meet and learn about other people, and if I meet someone, great, if not, well, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

You might not be providing the emotional quick fix they’re looking for or they might have several other catches on the line that they find more willing to give them what they want. I know this is kind of a given but I was truly shocked at the lengths some people would go to, such as posing as someone who was recently widowed and is raising a beloved single child alone once you got to know them, they would start to strongly hint at, or even just outwardly ask, for money.

I had noticed that there were a lot of profiles out there that made this claim, and it seemed unusual because they were all in their 20’s and 30’s. Of course, there are several people who actually ARE in this situation and my heart goes out to them, but this is definitely one of the many “bleeding heart” situations to look out for.

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